Meme collaboration with SpiketheKlown
. Warning: Hints of slight non-con, strong language and because Belial is just an awful, despicable creature.
Chal: Wait! I already did this meme, why am I doing another-
Belial: What's new, pussycat?
Chal: I fucking hate all of you.
Kylie and Will:
Caesar: *Chugs vodka*
1) Introduce your pairing--of rivals!
Belial: I was the very first of many, I am the son of the morning star, I am all I ever was and ever will be, I am Belial, the proud true King of Hell.
And I'm Chalice. Most of you probably know me by now after doing these damn memes.
2) So… how did you two meet?
Belial: It was a lovely January day, and I decided now would be a good time to introduce myself to my Son's new plaything.
Chal: For the record. I'm NOT Lucious' plaything! I'm his friend with benefits, Asshole!
Belial: Do I look like I give two steaming shits?
3) Who initiated the relationship and how?
Belial: She initiated it once she set foot in my kingdom, it was only a matter of time before we met.
Chal: He did, even though I've told him to fuck off more than once.
Belial: So soon? I was gonna wait to do that until the interview was over, but if you insssissst!
Caesar: EWWW! I don't need to see that!
4) Why do they dislike/hate each other? When did their feud begin?
Belial: I hate everyone that comes into my line of vision, but I took a special kind of hate to her.
Chal: How touching. *Sarcasm oozing* I don't know... maybe the fact that he practically mind raped me!
Azzie: HE WHAAT?!
5) Interesting! What was your first kiss with each other like?
Chal: *Eye twitches* ASK ME THAT AGAIN. I FUCKIN' DARE YOU!
Belial: Ooh, I can almost taste the anger in your voice...
It almost tastes as good as the first kiss we shared.
Chal: And by first kiss "we shared", he means forcefully shoving his tongue down my throat.
6) Which one has the most hate?
Chal: Take a good fuckin' guess.
Belial: I'm the ruler of the sin of wrath (as well as pride), So I'll be the judge of who has the most hate: Me.
7) So what was it, if anything, you found attractive about each other before the hate began? Is there still attraction there?
Belial: She has so much rage welled-up inside of her... it's inebriating to say the least.
A special kind of horny.
Chal: Too bad I don't feel the same!
Belial: No one said you had to.
8) Would you say you're in love?
Belial: Love is weakness, Hate will prevail over all.
Chal: Does THIS look like love to you?!
9) What would happen if you were locked in a room together for some time?
... What do you think?
Chal: Dream on!
Belial: Dreams are merely reality in the making.
Chal: Such a smartass...
Belial: Takes one to know one!
10) What could stop them from being enemies? Can't we all just get along?
Belial: Truces are for the feeble-minded, especially in mortals.
Chal: NOTHING! Absolutely nothing!
11) Compatibility is important in a relationship, so are there any ways you two are alike?
Chal: WE'RE NOTHING ALIKE!
Belial: That's like comparing a disgusting minuscule insect to a beautiful snow-capped mountain.
Belial: Has anyone ever told you that you're beautiful when you're angry?
Chal: You wouldn't be the first.
12) Switch roles! Maybe you'll empathize with each other that way! Or... not?
Belial: *Mimics Chal; incredibly mockingly* Oh look, I'm weak misunderstood woman!
Chal: And I'm a misogynistic, prick horse who bullys everyone around him and GIMME YOUR SOUL! MWAHAHA.
13) Now, how are you two different from each other in personality?
Belial: I'm fueled by malice while she's fueled by... ugh... feelings.
Chal: Do I really have to spell that one out?
14) What is the kinkiest thing you've ever done with each other?
Belial: Oh, I haven't even started being kinky!
But the look on your face was priceless when I started gripping my fingers around your beautiful neck.
15) Now time for brutal honesty, what do you like the least about each other?
Belial: That she exists. The mere existence of everything inferior to me is disgusting.
Chal: Well, screw you, too, Pal! *Flips him off*
Belial: What? You're allowed to insult me, but Heaven forbid I insult you? Double standards, much?
16) Have you planned to get married and start a family? Was that what started your feud, or did that come after?
Chal: NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. NOPE.
Belial: I was married once; I ate my wife after she tried to stand up to me. The very thought of being married to this... mortal is laughable.
Lucious: Urge to maim rising...
Azzie: He did not just say that...
17) What would you do if the other was killed?
Chal: Dance on his fucking corpse.
Belial: Drag her to hell and torture her for all eternity.
18) Even though you clearly don't get along, you're still together. What would most likely cause you two to end your relationship?
Belial: When something less meaningless decides to come along.
Chal: We don't have a fucking relationship!
19) What do you usually argue about?
Belial: Certainly not arguing about how idiotic this question is.
20) Have your arguments ever gotten violent?
Belial: Ooh... yes...
Chal: My ass still hurts from last time.
21) How do you usually make up after a fight?
Belial: Where's the fun in that?
22) Who would you say "Wears the pants" in the relationship?
Belial: I am superior, anyone who doubts that will be eviscerated.
23) Even though you don't get along, what are some things you admire or used to admire about your partner?
Belial: The amount of anger inside her little husk of a body.
Too bad she harbors other emotions that hide the true beauty of rage.
Belial: Awww, not even my devilishly handsome looks that I share with my son?
24) Have you met each other's family, yet? If yes, then how do you feel about them?
Belial: Ooh, I haven't thought of that!
Where does your family live?
Chal: HA! You really think I'm gonna give that information to you? As in answer to the question, yes I have. I'm very fond of Lucious, but I tend to keep my distance from Zaebos and Lucifer.
Belial: Wait, Zaebos is STILL ALIVE
? I thought I killed him before I was imprisoned!
25) Is there anyone who disapproves of your relationship?
Lucious: The fact that someone would call what they have a relationship is an abomination!
Caesar: I keep telling people, Mr. Helspane, I didn't write this!
26) Oh. That being said, do you have anyone who does support your relationship?
Belial: Oh let me go and ask my friends how they feel? Oh wait, I don't have any of those parasites to drag me down.
27) Make them the opposite of who they are! Have them act as friends for once!
Belial as an Angel: Mortal! Befriend me!
Chal: PISS OFF!
Belial: See? Friendships just don't work.
Chal: No, I just hate you!
28) Yeah right, it's time for a battle to the death! Are they willing to go that far, or is there still some love there?
Belial: Oh that just wouldn't be a fair fight, I would wi-
Chal: *Whacks him over the head with a blessed 9-Iron*
Belial: *Falls flat on his face, knocked out, Chal begins kicking the shit out of him*
29) If not, who wins?
Belial: That wasn't a fair fight!
Chal: You fucking deserved it!
30) That wasn't pretty. Let's try something where no one gets hurt. Take your pick: Video games, chess, poker battle or whatever.
Chal: No matter what we decide on, it's gonna end with both of us trying to maul the other to death.
I choose to do that!
Chal: Of course you would...
31) Have one of them play a prank on the other!
Belial: If you so much as utter a certain word today, and I will leave that word unknown to you, you'll be turned inside out for my amusement the rest of the day!
Chal: What the Hell kind of game is this?!
Belial: *Gasps* You said the secret word! Now hold still... *Walks over to her, hands outstretched*
32) Is there someone both characters admire? If not, then have another character intervening in a fight of theirs or whatever you want.
Lucious: GET AWAY FROM HER!
Asmodeus: I'll tear your arms off if you even touch her!
Sid: *Throws a glass bottle at him* Eat this, you red piece of shit!
Belial: Looks like her white knights have come to the rescue. *slow clap*
33) Everyone has insecurity about infidelity, so how would you react if the other cheated?
Belial: *Very sarcastically* Oh, Chal. How could you? I thought we had something spe- *BELCH* ugh, I can't even lie about that without feeling sick.
Chal: What. Ever.
34) Ah... while we're on the subject, who is most likely to get jealous or possessive?
Chal: HIM obviously!
Belial: ME? Jealous of YOU?
35) What do you think makes your relationship seems so interesting?
Belial: She leaves these little marks all over me with her claws... and I return them in full.
36) And now, it's over! Last question, would you say you care enough about each other to save the other from impending doom, even if it cost you your own life?
Belial and Chal: NO!
37) That's it, GROUP THERAPY!
Chal: I'm on all aboard the Nope Train to Fuckthisshitsville! Good. Fucking. Bye!
Belial: *Sips a cup of tea peacefully, before standing up* I concur, this was all a waste of my valuable time. *Walks into his own shadow and disappears*
Caesar: Thank GOD that is over with! *Takes another swig of Vodka, before passing out*
Belial: *Comes back through an infernal portcullis* Forgot my keys. *Grabs them off of a table before turning to Caesar* It'd be a shame leaving him like that... *sets his shoes on fire before leaving* That's better.