|"I know your secret, Baby…"|
1) Let's meet the two rivals, shall we?
Roxanna Johnson and Chief Emanuel Sykes
2) Why do they dislike/hate each other? When did their feud begin?
Roxy: Where do I begin? Not only is he a misogynistic pile of crap, he also takes bribes from the Mafia. Even though it's his job to keep them off the street! He also treats my colleagues and I like we're second class citizens! He also blackmailed my partner into having sex with him and he constantly hits on my girlfriend, even though she's told him to go away.
Sykes: She's another self-righteous goody two shoes, who loves to knock me down with her “Holier-than-thou” attitude. She's not near as bad as Samsung, I'll give her that. Also, she far too passive in dealing with suspects! She might as well offer them a foot massage or pre-paid concert tickets with their coffee...
3) Which one has the most hate?
Roxy: Take a wild guess...
4) Make them the opposite of who they are! Have them act as friends or even lovers!
Chal: Ha! Shot down in flames!
Sykes: You're not part of this meme, m'dear.
Chal: That never stopped anyone else.
Caesar: While you're here, please grab your friend and bring her back to the interview. I'd like to get through this without my roots starting to show, m'kay?
5) Have one of them play a prank on the other!
Chal: I need a shower now.
Jeanette: *walks in* Why is everyone so horrifi- AHHHHHHHHH!!
Roxy: I never thought I'd encourage murder, but please kill him Chal! For the good of all creature-kind!
Chal: Who? Kelly or Sykes?
Roxy: Either! Both! Just make sure nothing like this can ever happen a second time!
6) What would happen if they were locked in a room together for some time?
Sykes: That would depend on the room, and the length of time. Twelve hours in hotel suite, I might convince her to set our disagreements aside.
7) What could stop them from being enemies? Can't we all just get along?
Sykes: If she stopped calling me a sexist jerk, or let me watch her and Jeanette make out for ten minutes.
Roxy: HA! If we let him, that won’t be satisfying enough and Sykes would beg for a three way, next! As for the question, if Emanuel practiced what he preached and treated women like people, then I would respect him. Like that’s ever going to happen…
8) Yeah right, it's time for a battle to the death!
Sykes: I may dislike her, but I don't want to kill her! Oh fine. I suppose if it's Thunderdome, I gotta rise to the occasion!
Roxy: -Charges- Spaarta!
9) Who wins?
Jeanette: *holding brass bookend and covered in blood. She smiles, sweetly* Hey, honey! Want to go to the bakery?
10) That wasn't pretty. Let's try something where no one gets hurt. Take your pick: Video games, chess, poker battle or whatever.
Sykes: Please pick poker, please pick poker...
Sykes: Aww, fuck.
11) Is there someone both characters admire? If not, then have another character intervening in a fight of theirs or whatever you want.
Jeanette: Whoops! Got ahead of myself!
Sykes: *Continues gurgling blood*
12) Is there anything the rivals have in common?
Roxy: Unfortunately, we work together.
Sykes: I'm the boss though.
Roxy: Should have been Samsung.
Sykes: Obviously, former Chief Schwartzwasser thought I was more qualified for the job than that prick! Otherwise it would be Samsung!
Roxy: And there's a rumor that you bribed and even threatened him to get picked over Henry.
Sykes: Oh, bullshit! The man was just an idiot.
Chal: Hold up. Did you just admit Samsung's a better cop than you?
Sykes: NEXT QUESTION!
13) Switch roles! Maybe you'll empathize with each other that way! Or... not?
Roxy: *Steals his suit and cigar* I'm the rich police chief with mob ties, who can buy women tons of shiny crap!
Sykes: *Takes her rosary beads and holds up Red Velvet cupcake* I believe compassion is not weakness and violence isn't strength and blah blah blah, because I'm suuuuch a devote Christain and perfect cop! I'm also a proud lesbian and firmly believe all men are pigs! *Takes cupcake and shoves it all over his face* Oooh, delicious; although not nearly as much as Jeanette's fine ass!
14) That's it, GROUP THERAPY!
Roxy: NO WAY!
Foxy and I: We only want to help!
15) Final thoughts, tag someone or whatever.